That’s Part I, not Parti, I can spell Party.

So here is what you do. (I’ll explain the reasons why after the instructions for those who want to test my logic.)

Here is the tl;dr version.

  1.  Get cash.app 
  2. Buy bitcoin through your cash.app 
  3. Open an account at kraken.com. (Skip the KYC stuff for now and get the most basic account)
  4. Move your bitcoin from cash.app to kraken.
  5. Sell your bitcoin in Kraken and use the proceeds to buy Dogecoin.  Just look for XDG as the ticker.
  6. Profit.

I’ll break it apart a bit slower now.  Let’s talk about some of the “why’s” and “what if”s.

We all have seen it and heard about it.  The price of Dogecoin is exploding, this is because some of the richest and most powerful people in the world are pumping the price up.  No, I’m not talking about WSB, though they are a collective “people” – but individuals like Elon “The Alien” Musk.   If you have decided that speculating in satirical cryptocurrency is for you – then right up there ☝️ is how to do it.

I am not giving investment advice, but I am not giving you B.S.  If you are sure you want some Dogecoin here is a sure-fire way of acquiring some – like right meow… I’m not trying to convince you – I’m trying to help you.

“Why bother?”

 Well I’m not trying to convince you.  The current price of Dogecoin is $0.0505898.  One month ago, it was $0.0097924.  Those are a long tiny numbers so to de-math it – the coin was less than a penny, now it is a nickel.  You know what doesn’t suck? Turning 10,000 pennies into 10,000 nickels. Of course it could go back down.  But it could also continue to go up.  What if it goes to dimes? Or quarters?  Can I get an amen for “dollars”? 

Cash.app ? Really? The thing my cousin uses to accept payments for sour diesel?  

Yes, that Cash.app. Here is why: they have attorneys at cash app.  There is this old standard in finance that is now called KYC or “know your customer”.  Banks have a responsibility to know who you are, not only so they can call you and try to sell you crap, but so that you don’t launder money for the cartels. Cash.app somehow has gotten around this almost entirely. So the central premise of this humble little tumbl is that you want the coins quickly.  If you want them slowly, do the KYC and wait. Surely there will be people who buy after you, right? Well, maybe. But that is called the Greater Fool Theory – there will always be someone else to buy and things only increase in value, right? Wrong! Markets go down. Prices drop.  Speed is a good thing. Or, “if you ain’t first, your last”

Why kraken?

There are a few reasons.  They will let you move in coins and trade them without KYC.  They also haveDogecoin. Not all exchanges do, in fact it seems like most of the big ones don’t.  So at least that won’t stop you.  Finally, their security is really top-notch.  That part I can actually claim expert knowledge about.  If you want, you can have a nearly bulletproof account from an OpSec standpoint.

Moving coins seems like a hassle.  

Yeah, you have to click the mouse like 10 times. 😉 Working for a living is a bigger hassle. 

How high/low will the price go?

Nobody knows that.  Literally, and anyone who tells you differently is a liar and should be ignored. 

If you have any other questions, I’m happy to answer them, these were just the ones I could think of while I was cooking dinner.